Being a parent is a lot of work.
Managing calendars, drop-offs, pick-ups, groceries, cleaning, laundry, doctor visits, and everything in between. There is always something to do.
But I’m learning that sometimes the hardest part of parenting isn’t doing more. It’s knowing when to do nothing.
When something feels off, my instinct is to lean in harder. To talk more. To explain. To fix.
And lately I’ve noticed that pushing hard can do exactly the opposite.
Instead of bringing us closer, it creates more distance.
Sometimes, the connection is like a cat hiding under the bed. The more you reach for it, the farther it retreats.
But when you sit quietly nearby, it comes out on its own terms.
So I’m working very hard to practice a different kind of effort.
Giving space.
Giving space is something I talk about often. Making room for ourselves. Slowing down. Stepping back when life feels loud. I genuinely believe space helps us think more clearly and live with more intention.
What I’m realizing now is that the same idea applies to parenting. Space isn’t just something we need as adults. It’s something our kids need too.
Enough space for them to sort through their thoughts, feel what they need to feel, and decide when they’re ready to come back.
But not so much space that they feel abandoned or disconnected.
This is very hard for me.
Harder than setting rules.
Harder than explaining the logic and the importance of whatever the topic happens to be.
It’s harder because it asks me to notice my own discomfort and wade around in it.
To trust that connection doesn’t always need to be chased.
Sometimes it needs patience and stillness.
I’ve also realized that a lot of times, it’s my own insecurities and frustrations driving the dialogue.
So now, before stepping in, I ask myself, “Am I stepping in to support them, or to make myself feel better?”
I won’t always get it right. But I’m committed to practicing it.
If you’re navigating (or have navigated) something similar, I’d love to hear about your experience. Just hit reply and share your thoughts.
And if this newsletter spoke to you, consider sharing it with someone.
Until then, stay warm and keep things simple.
Yours in Simplicity,
Jimmy